


Happy Birthday, Lucina

by GengarFan3



Category: SpongeBob SquarePants (Cartoon), Super Smash Brothers
Genre: Chaos, Gen, Memes, Out of Character, crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-11-23 09:02:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11399376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GengarFan3/pseuds/GengarFan3
Summary: It's Lucina's birthday, so she decides to have fun in the only way she can. (Originally uploaded on Tumblr back when it was actually Lucina's birthday)





	Happy Birthday, Lucina

It was April 20th at the Smash Mansion. While most didn't care for this day, a few did for one reason: it was Lucina's birthday. Lucina in particular was very excited for this day, and she was celebrating it in the only way she would truly enjoy.

...

...

...

By slaying everyone around her, even her friends and family. Starting with her own father, Chrom. Because that's normal for Lucina, amirite?

~The boss theme from Sonic CD starts to play~

"L-lucina... WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!" Chrom screamed as he fell to the floor, with a stab wound in his stomach.

"Because... because this is what I always wanted," Lucina stated, a deranged smile on her face. "This is the only reason I wanted to free the future from Grima... to slay everyone myself and take over. And believe me when I say this... the future where Grima rules... was much better for pathetic fools like you and everyone else in this damned place."

"Lucina... I know everything you just said is nothing but a lie... there's no way you aren't being contro-"

Having enough of Chrom's existence, she sliced his head of with the Parallel Falchion, leaving the once holy blade covered in blood.

And thus began her mass murder spree across the whole Smash Mansion.

Sonic. Peach. Mega Man. Robin. Even Master Hand and Crazy Hand. Nearly everyone was wiped out without a clue as to who was behind the string of murders. And it seemed that all hope was lost.

Butt, there was one last ray of hope for the world. One being powerful enough to stop Lucina.

... By the time they grew aware of the situation however, it was too late. Aside from Wario and Waluigi, everyone who had lived at the mansion had already perished. In fact, had the hero intervened any later, even those two would have been slain by the mad Exalt, for she had cornered the two and was ready to deal the final blow. However, they still managed to save the tho brothers by throwing Lucina out of the mansion, giving the duo a chance to escape.

~The boss theme stops as the final boss theme from The SpongeBob Squarepants Movie game starts~

As soon as Lucina got off the ground, she finally saw just who save Wario and Waluigi from certain death. Needless to say, she was shocked from just who it was. His ridiculous shape, lazy features, and overall stupid attire made him seem like nothing more than a lazy coward with no potential.

She feared him... not.

Even though she should have.

After all, there were not many stronger than our hero...

PATRICK STAR.

Lucina ran towards the pink starfish, ready to kill him with one slice, but she did not anticipate the seastar taking absolutely no damage whatsoever, and especially not him grabbing her before jumping up high into the atmosphere. Once the two started to descend back down towards the earth, Lucina looked down and noticed that they were heading towards the ocean that housed the town of Bikini Bottom. Falling quickly into the ocean and onto the Flying Dutchman's ship, Patrick crushed Lucina, yet she managed to survive. Pushing the starfish off of her, Lucina's eyes became a dark red.

"Why the hell is an idiot like you wanting to stop me anyways?!" Lucina demanded to know, getting onto her feet.

"It's obvious, is it not? Someone who has sinned as much as yourself does not deserve the right to live. Come to think of your sins, it seems that you have acquired many more than nearly everyone else in existence. Not even the likes of Plankton or even Grima himself have acquired as many sins in their entire existences than you have within the last six days, five minutes, and twenty-seven-and-a-half-seconds. Interesting... interesting," Patrick remarked.

"Ugh... just SHUT UP AND DIE ALREADY!" Lucina screamed.

"How about both of you get off of my ship?!" the Flying Dutchman roared as he appeared out of nowhere. Patrick however had other plans, for he instead punched the ship, which broke it in half, leaving Lucina and himself to fall as the Dutchman cried over the recent events.

"DAMN IDIOT!" the Exalt yelled before Patrick started throwing tons of watermelons at her. Eventually, she crashed right into the then empty Mermalair, but quickly got up to continue the fight. However, Patrick tackled her right into Mermaid Man's reading room, where the two knocked nearly everything over, until the Mermalair's security alarm activated, which was a bucket splattering gasoline all over the place before a robotic hand dropped a match, causing the whole place to burst into flames. Lucina screamed as she caught on fire and ran out of the Mermalair, forcing Patrick to give chase.

**XxXx**

~The final boss theme stops as The Tip Top Polka by the Chelmsford Folk Band starts~

It was a busy day at the Krusty Krab. Nearly the entire place was packed with customers as SpongeBob readied everyone's food in the kitchen, Mr. Krabs was counting money in his office, and while Squidward was having an argument with his arch rival, Squilliam Fancyson, at the cash register.

"I'm not going to argue about it any further, Squilliam! All out-of-character characters wear lamp shades on their heads! That's all there is to it!" Squidward argued.

"Sure Squiddy, and maybe you'll tell me about how there's somehow background music playing in the background at all times!" Squilliam retorted before laughing his signature laugh.

~The Tip Top Polka stops as the Master Core theme from Super Smash Bros. 4 starts~

Lucina then broke through the Krusty Krab's front, glass doors, having been thrown in by Patrick, both of the fighters wearing lamp shades that fell on them during their scuffle at the Mermalair. All of the customers started screaming as Patrick came in, resulting in SpongeBob peaking out of the kitchen and Mr. Krabs coming out of his office to see what the racket was all about.

"NO! ME CUSTOMERS ARE LEAVING!" Mr. Krabs said as some of them started running for the exit, while the rest ran around the restaurant in panic. Meanwhile, Patrick grabbed Lucina and threw her into the kitchen, where SpongeBob started fighting against her as well. "PATRICK! WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS?!"

However, Patrick had no time to answer, as the infamous angel Cloud from Kid Icarus Uprising 2: Hades's Revenge flew right through the Krusty Krab's roof to join in on the chaos.

"PATRICK! YOU MUST DIE!" Cloud yelled. Unfortunately for him and fortunately for everyone else, Patrick ripped his wings out of his back and even stabbed the angel right through the stomach with one of the wings before he could do any more damage. Leaving that one wing behind, Patrick kept the other one in hand, ready to fight Lucina once again. Speaking of the deranged princess, she broke the kitchen door down and charged for the pink idiot. Patrick waited for Lucina to get close before he swung the wing's sharp, boney end. Alas, the Falchion cut right through the bone, leaving Patrick weaponless.

"Say your prayers, idiot!" Lucina yelled as she swung yet again. This time, Patrick took another approach, for he turned himself around and used his famous "Pat Back" technique, which clamped right onto the Falchion before snapping it into a thousand pieces.

~The Master Core theme stops as Heroes Win by Gregor F. Narholz starts~

"DAMN! NOT THE FALCHION!" Lucina cried out.

"YES!" Patrick rejoiced as he yanked the other wing from Cloud's corpse. Lucina charged for the starfish, but she, just like the angel, was impaled with the sharp bone of the wing.

"WAHOO! WE DID IT, PATRICK!" SpongeBob cheered as he exited the kitchen. "VICTORY SCREECH!"

... And everybody but Squidward and Squilliam did just that. They screeched as loud as they could, happy over Lucina's defeat. Even the Wario Bros., who just showed up, screeched their hearts out.

"... What just happened?" Squilliam wondered before Squidward hit him on the head with a coconut.

...

Meanwhile, in reality, Lucina herself was wondering why this thing exists. And you should too.

...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LUCINA! I'M SORRY I MADE THIS DAMNED THING!


End file.
